I have to admit that I've been in a bit of a funk. I can't really put my finger on exactly what has been wrong, but I just haven't been feeling myself. I feel like I have this cloud hanging over me and it's just waiting to dump one heck of a rainstorm.
Like everybody else I am sure the economy has something to do with it although it really shouldn't. Luckily, I think my family is secure in our job situations, we're not behind on any bills, we are all clothed, fed, and have a comfortable house. We do have quite a bit of debt though and I feel very responsible for that. I foolishly got caught up in the materialism of today and now am paying the price. I do not regret going to school for my bachelor's and master's because I know it will eventually pay off, but the fact that we used credit to pay for it...not a great idea. Of course, hindsight is 20/20. Like I said though, the bills are being paid so I need to let go of the guilt and just move forward making better decisions and doing everything possible to get things under control. That's for another post though.
With the election right around the corner, I think that also brings me anxiety as we wait to hear the big decision of who will be running our country in the future. The candidates are just so different and seem to have such opposite visions for the country. I'm not going to get into a big political debate here because in all honesty I am a pretty politically ignorant person. I listen with an open mind, try to internalize what is being said and then develop my own opinion. However, I am in no position to actually argue with somebody about their beliefs. I know who I'm voting for and I know why and frankly nobody is going to make me change my mind so why debate it? All I can say is that I am scared about our country's future and what life is going to be like for my kids. I'll be praying harder, that's for sure!!
Work has also been somewhat stressful. There are many new initiatives taking place that require much more planning and preparation, but at the same time also requires more meetings making it very hard to find the time for the extra prep. I have had to take a step back and realize that there is only so much I can do. I refuse to bring all my work home because it is not fair to my own kids or husband. I know I work my butt off at my job and use my time as wisely as I can so I feel that if I cannot get it all done then perhaps the administrators and above need to take a look at what is occurring and make some adjustments. Meanwhile I am going to continue to do my best and be the best teacher I can be, but I'm not going to allow it to eat into my family time. My family is my first priority.
Of course in the mix of all that there is just life. The life of driving here and there to do this and that. Soccer games, swim lessons, birthday parties, school parties, baby showers, Halloween, New York trip...it's endless. Add in the laundry, dishes, dusting, mopping, bathrooms, toys...well that is overwhelming in an of itself.
So there you have it in a nutshell. My funk in all it's glory. Thanks for listening to my brain dump. Maybe now I can move forward. Become that happy go lucky person again who enjoys life and all it has to offer.
To begin moving forward here are just a few things I can be thankful for...
- God's love! In all this craziness I know that he is there. I just need to rely on him more instead of myself. "I CAN do all things through Christ who strengthens me!"
- My beautiful family. A husband who
takes carespoils me and two healthy, adorable, smart, and funny kids who love their momma!
- A happy marriage that I know nowadays is something very rare and precious.
- A comfortable house at the beach.
- Being a teacher...it was a goal in life that I was able to reach. I truly love my job!
- Wonderful friends and family who accept me as I am...for good and bad...happy and in a funk!
- My health!
Wow...I feel better all ready!!
How are you doing with all the chaos occurring? Have you found yourself being more anxious than usual or have you been able to find peace? What are some of the things you are most thankful for?